How To Get A Boyfriend In 5 Easy Steps

How To Get A Boyfriend In 5 Easy Steps

Charlotte Arigni
How to get a Boyfriend in 5 Easy Steps

It’s finally Spring again, which means it’s the season of budding flowers and budding relationships. Today, I will teach you how to get a boyfriend in 5 easy steps so you can spend spring time with a significant other.

Note, if you already have a significant other, then these 5 steps can still apply to you. Follow these steps to make your current relationship even better!

Step 1: Be Pretty

It’s an obvious one, but many girls think they can get a boyfriend because they have a “great personality.”

Sorry to break it to any ladies who believe that, but being personable is the last thing a potential boyfriend would want.

Men want pretty girls. Why do you think adultery and divorce are commonplace?

It’s because men want pretty girls.

How To Be Pretty

So you know step 1, but how do you accomplish it?

I’ll give you a quick list of secrets to make yourself pretty.

  1. Buy makeup and learn how to wear it.
  2. Get fit and lose weight.
  3. Buy physical augmentations (boob job, nose job, chin job).

If you’re looking at these 3 items and think they can be expensive, you’re correct.

Being pretty is not cheap, but it’s a worthwhile investment. If you are pretty enough to get a boyfriend, then you will likely be financially set for life based on the allowance he gives you every month.

Step 2: Be Rich

This step is often misunderstood. Women always ask me, “Charlotte, how can I be rich if I spent all my money on being pretty?”

Great question, but I have the answer you’re looking for.

If you spent all your money to make yourself pretty, then it’s easy to make yourself rich. That’s why these are listed as steps 1 and 2 respectively.

How To Be Rich

There are several ways you can leverage your beauty for financial gain.

  1. Become a model.
  2. Work as an exclusive escort.
  3. Star as a film or T.V. actress.

“Wow, it all makes sense now! Thanks, Lotti!”

I know, Charlotte is looking out for all her sisters. I did the research, I know what works, and I care about all my ladies out there to share my secrets to finding success.

Step 3: Be Dumb

This may be the hardest step for my lady readers to take because you’re all smart enough to be reading my blog. But let me explain why this is important.

Men want to be in control and they want to be respected. If you’re smarter than he is, you will emasculate him with your intelligence. As soon as a man feels mentally inferior to you, then you have lost your chance to make him your boyfriend.

It’s important to show your man that he’s smart, and often the best way to do that is to be dumb.

How To Be Dumb

I made this 5 step process into a perfect cycle of love. If you’re having trouble reaching one step, you may be at a different part in the cycle. But because it’s a perfect circle, you can complete any step to reach the next.

  1. Use your college fund to be pretty.
  2. Stop reading books and start reading scripts and taking phone calls.
  3. Don’t spend time with smart people.

Some people are born smart and others work hard to be smart. But being dumb is really easy, so just follow those 3 steps and you’ll be well on your way to becoming girlfriend material.

Before we move on, I want to congratulate you on making it past the halfway point of my “How To Get A Boyfriend In 5 Easy Steps” course. You’re almost done, keep going!

Step 4: Be Economical

“Be economical, Lotti?! I just dropped out of college to follow your advice and you’re telling me to be economical?”

Whoa, hold on there! I know you’re upset, but step 4 is not what you think. Let me explain.

Being economical refers to being a master of “Home Economics.” Home economics involves washing dishes, vacuuming floors, folding laundry, and cooking meals.

Men are busy making money and winning bread for the household. Let’s face it, they don’t have time for menial labor after a long day of work. This is where being economical makes you a prime candidate for winning the girlfriend election.

How To Be Economical

Depending on your childhood, you may have had a mother or female guardian who taught you most of those tasks already. If you didn’t then don’t worry!

My childhood was weird, so I learned all about home economics from the Cottage Woman (rest in peace sweet lady).

If you don’t have someone who can be your mentor, then turn to the universal teacher, the internet.

I highly recommend learning from Martha Stewart as she will teach you how to cook, clean, craft, and con the stock market through collusion and securities fraud.

Step 5: Be Someone Else

I made this the last step at the end of the cycle because it is the most important.

Men want a girl who has achieved the 4 steps I previously mentioned. If a man wanted you to be his girlfriend, you wouldn’t be reading this right now!

You’re a unique, beautiful snowflake, and men hate snowflakes. Why are you single? It’s because you are a genuine and authentic person. That’s great if you want to live alone for the rest of your life.

How To Be Someone Else

If you were able to accomplish the 4 previous steps, then you are likely already done with step 5!

By making yourself pretty, rich, dumb, and economical, then you have successfully made yourself into a new person.

If you made it to step 5 of my “How To Get A Boyfriend In 5 Easy Steps” course without completing the others, then go back and finish the cycle. You shouldn’t be able to recognize yourself if you did everything by the book.

Now You’re Ready To Get A Boyfriend

Congratulations! If you’re reading this, then you have completed the course and are ready to find love and companionship!

There are places you can go to find certain men, but don’t waste your time looking!

Because you completed the “How To Get A Boyfriend In 5 Easy Steps” course, men will come looking for you!

I encourage everyone to engage in open dialogue here. Share your troubles and success stories to teach and motivate others!


About The Author: Charlotte Arigni

Hey, it's me, Charlotte Arigni (are-een-ye); you can call me Lotti for short. Anyway, I'm a professional copywriter who decided to start her own blog for fun. My website is as much a satire as it is serious, so you will laugh while you learn about Organic Copywriting from my posts!


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